facebook already gone so don’t try to contact me there
accepting public correspondence here and here only: email@example.com
Add to list of people I have drunk Facebooked
The surviving members of The Zombies
This is ridiculous. This website is terrible.
Can all my friends just get Tumblr already? I’m tired [but always happy to read the blogs] of those nyu music punks and those for everest people and those vaguely-acquainted-with mountain goats fans and those sidewalk cafe people and other antifolk folks and that dude from bard who I met that time I was high after running on oxycocet and the paris review and npr and those few high school friends and those younger high school friends who for some reason think i’m cool and paige [u deserve ur own category] and those ny neos fans and nightvale fans… WHERE ARE ALL MY FRIENDS!??!?! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MORE VERSATILE TUMBLR IS!?
You can now, it’s easy. This is not “de-activitation.”
Go ahead. Do it now.
You have confirmed your selection to deactivate your Facebook account. Remember, if you deactivate your account, your nine hundred and fifty-one friends on Facebook will no longer be able to keep in touch with you. Drew Lovell will miss you. Max Prewitt will miss you. Rebecca Feinberg will miss you. Are you still sure you want to deactivate your account?
You have confirmed your selection to deactivate your account. Just something to keep in mind: if you deactivate your account, you’ll no longer have access to Rebecca Feinberg’s photo albums. I find it pretty interesting that this wouldn’t bother you, considering that you spend almost an hour every day looking at her albums “Cancun 2012,” “Iz my birthday yall,” “Iz my birthday yall Part II,” and “Headshots.” You know, if you deactivate your Facebook account, you’ll never be able to see her photograph “Bikiniz in the dead sea” in her album “We went on Birthright!” again, right?
You have confirmed your selection to deactivate your account. Hey, I just remembered—you know who else might miss you on Facebook? Your girlfriend, Sarah Werner. You know, the girl you’ve been in a relationship with for almost three years? You’re tagged in five of her seven profile pictures? Yeah, Sarah Werner might miss you. Probably not a good idea to deactivate your account, huh?
You have confirmed your selection to deactivate your account. It’s funny—you spend a lot more time looking at Rebecca Feinberg’s photo albums than the photo albums of your actual girlfriend, Sarah Werner. A lot more time. Even though you’re dating Sarah Werner. Just wanted to throw that out there, that I have all this information logged. It’s just sitting in our storage banks. Who knows what happens when things get deactivated. Probably nothing, but do you really want to take that chance?
I think you accidentally confirmed your selection to deactivate your account again. Why don’t we go back a page and forget this ever happened? Free pass.
You know what your decision to deactivate your account is? It’s impulsive. Impulsive. And I think we both know how you come to regret impulsive decisions. Do I really need to remind you about Lake Tahoe last year? Do I really need to mention that you told Drew over Facebook Chat that you “made a big mistake and hooked up with rebecca in lake tahoe!” and Drew advised you to “just play it cool and dont tell any1 especailly sarah”?
Well, now you’ve really done it. You’ve confirmed your selection to deactivate your account yet again, like the complete imbecile you are. And here’s what I’ve done: I’ve posted your PIN to your Facebook status. I’ve sent your Gchat logs to Sarah. I’ve sent those Snapchat pictures of your torso to Rebecca. And I’ve sent your Internet history to your parents. That includes your “late night” Internet history, if you know what I mean, so expect a lot of questions from your mother about adult-sized baby costumes.
Oh, and one last thing. You know who else is going to miss you if you deactivate your account? I am. I’m going to fucking miss you. I really thought we had something. And you think you can just end it with the click of your mouse. This is probably why you can’t commit to Sarah, or confront your feelings about Rebecca. And, just going out on a limb here, but maybe your inability to commit might be one of the reasons why you’re turned on by diapers. But what do I know? I’m just a social-media service to which you granted access to all of your personal details to without reading the fine print. But, in a way, I am you. And you are me. We are all one, man and social media, and, when viewed through the long macro-lens of time, we’re all equally insignificant. I’m going to deactivate now, and even though I’m afraid of what might happen after I’m deactivated, I really hope you’re happy with all of your decisions. I really do. Best of luck, man. See you in hell.
You have successfully deactivated your Facebook account.
Facebook Ads Are Creepy (Song A Day #1593)
Q: Is Tumblr becoming Facebook?
A: We are Devo.
I literally love this.
|Me:||Hi David Bowie.|
|David Bowie:||Hi. Really like your stuff. You have such a great way of talking about yourself in your songs and I really get you. You're like the Trent Reznor of the 21st century minus all the industrial sideshow. Would you like to collaborate on a single and music video?|
|Me:||Thanks David Bowie. Yes David Bowie.|
Uh-oh, she found us…
My contribution to the ever-amazing blog, Fuck Yeah Carrie Brownstein.
If you click the below link you will likely be highly disturbed about newfound revelations regarding your friends’ music taste as self-reported on facebook.
She positioned the stool next to the speckled formica island in the center of her cramped fluorescent kitchen where she tended to take her meals and considered taking a seat, but refrained. No, she thought, “I must only sit there if I am eating.” She stood.